For Someone I Love
by Gurlynicole
Summary: After being missing for 2 weeks, Olivia is found, but what happened to her? And who took her in the first place? Will she be safe?
1. Running

I don't know where I am going, but I'm running anyway. I have to get as far away from that man as possible. I'm running through the night scared, bruised, and bleeding, with the white dress I wore the night I was kidnapped in tatters. Most of the top half of the dress is ripped, the only thing keeping it on is the single strap, and my dark purple bra is bottom is mostly fine, he didn't need to rip it, just push it up. It was the only clothing I can find, I wasn't going to run down the street naked. I can't slow down even for a second, he was still chasing me. I don't look around to see where I am or if anyone is around. My feet are bleeding and my lungs are burning. I can't stop until I'm sure I'm safe. I'm not sure far I will have to run to feel safe again. Maybe it would be best to stop and asks someone for help, but I can't bring myself to stop running. Maybe because I rarely run from anything, and if I do, I'm is either afraid for my loved ones lives, afraid of my feelings, or down-right horrified of someone. Right now I'm going with #3, because I'm not trying to protect anyone but myself, and I need Elliot to much right now, to run from him. I hope I'm going somewhere, where they can finally find me. I've been missing for 2 weeks now and I'm sure everyone, especially Elliot, are worried. Elliot and Cragen have always been good at worrying about me. The thought made me smile slightly. If I could count on anyone in my life it was them.

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice the man in front of me. I didn't notice him, but I sure as hell felt him as I slamed into his back and fell to the ground. He turned around as I crawled, backwards, away from the unknown man. It very well could be the man I was running from. His face was not yet in the light, so I could only see what he was wearing. He didn't seem to be the one I was running from, but I couldn't help the fear that quickly overtook me.

"Please don't hurt me." I said and wasn't surprised at my pitiful, small voice that cracked with fear. It had been like that for 2 weeks. The man took a small step forward and I braced myself for the pain I thought was coming. It never came. The man seemed to take a long look at me before stumbling back, into the light. Relief washed through me as I looked into his face. He would not hurt me. No, this man would never lay a hand on me.

"Olivia." Elliot said in disbelief. He rushed to my side as soon as he said my name. I had missed his comforting voice. As soon as he was in reach I latched onto him and sobbed. I promised myself I would never fall apart in his presence a long time ago, but right now I needed to cry and let everything out. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt safe again.

"Don! Fin! John!" He yelled into the bar next to us. They came running out and stopped at the sight of Elliot, with his arms wrapped around an unknown woman.

"I found her." He said softly and I pulled my head off his shoulder. I looked up at them as they stared at me in disbelief.

"Liv." Cragen said as if he were in a dream. He looked dazed and relieved.

"Baby girl, is that really you?" Fin asked and I nodded. He looked down at me with an expression similar to Cragen.

"Olivia, we've been looking all over the city for you. Where have you been?" Munch asked and I closed my eyes and looked down at the ground.

"Please, not now. I...I can't yet." I said, but winced at my pitiful voice. I looked back up and saw Elliot looking at me. He pulled away, but kept one of his arms around me, and looked me up and down. His eyes widened when he saw my ripped dress, and his mouth popped open when he saw my legs, feet, and most of my chest covered in blood. He looked up into my eyes with pain clouding his face.

"What happened to you." He asked and I closed my eyes. I leaned back into him and began crying again. I couldn't help it. I wouldn't be able to tell them everything that happened to me. I was sure they get too upset, and do something that would get them sent to prison for murder. I could only say the three words that made me like all the women we deal with everyday.

"He raped me." I said it with my head bared into Elliot's shoulder, but loud enough for them all to hear. I heard 3 men gasp in shock and anger. I felt Elliot stiffen next to me and his arms tightened around me. He turned his head slightly, so his lips where close to my ear.

"No...no..no..why you? God no." He whispered painfully into my ear. I had asked that question many times.

_Why me?_

I had no answer. Don, John, and Fin watched in silence as I clung to Elliot and sobbed.

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**So...do u like it? sorry about not updating my other stories, but I have writers block.....**

**Anyway..review..tell me if I should contiue..**

**The story has something to do with the tittle**


	2. My Liv

**chp1 was olivia's pov**

**this one is in Elliots Point of View**

* * *

That bastard raped her. I'm going to kill him. I'm going to enjoy killing him. I will make sure he suffers for what he did to her. No one hurts her and gets away with it. He will pay. I will make sure of it. I'm sure no one would him if he suddenly disappears after being convicted. Sure, they'll search....for a few hours, but no one will miss him. Ever.

I'd worry about that later, right now Olivia needs a doctor and a rape kit.

It struck me right then, she had become something she always feared she would become. A victim. A special victim.

No. She can't be a victim. She was Olivia Benson for god's sake! She was...was...was my Liv. She couldn't be a victim. She couldn't be...she just couldn't be. She was my rock. My life. She made our jod bearable. The most horrible cases I'd ever worked ran through my mind, only I saw Olivia's face in every victim.

I wanted to scream in agony. Now that the images were there, I can't stop them from flashing in my brain. I wanted to run away, away from the pain, and take Olivia with me. Just take her away from her pain, and keep her safe.

Sadly I know better. I couldn't run away, Liv needed me. I needed to find whoever did this to her. I looked over at Don.

"Call a bus." I said and he nodded, then pulled out his phone. I looked down at Olivia. She was looking up at my face. I hated the tears that where making their way down her face.

"I...I want to go home." She said softly and looked down. She hates being venerable. I tilt her chin up and wait until she looks back up.

"You need to go to the hospital. I want to make sure you're phisically okay. I promise I'll take you home after I know you're safe." I said and she nodded. I heard sirens in the distance, so I let go of Olivia's face.

"Can you get up, Liv?" I asked and she nodded. I stood up and put out my hand. She took it and tried to stand, but yelped in pain as she did. She stumbled back and I caught her before she fell to the ground. The bus had arrived to I just picked her up and walked her to it. I set her on the stretcher and they lifted her into the ambulance. I jumped in after the paramedics and sat next to Olivia. She clutched my hand in pain as they applied something to the feet. The doors closed and we started to move. Olivia screamed in agony as they pulled something out of her leg. I looked down and what I saw made me want to hurl. A knife blade had been stuck in the calf. I looked back at her and she had passed out. The paramedics where putting her on oxygen.

"What is happening?" I asked and one of them looked at me with sadness.

"She's dieing. She lost a lot of blood and they only thing that caused her to stay alive was adrenaline." He said and I nearly passed out as well.

"Can you save her?" I asked despartaly. This time they all looked at me, but they had hope in their eyes.

"Maybe." They all said and I closed my eyes. She'd be okay. They'd save her. They had to. She'd be okay.

I hope.

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**Tell me what u think!!!**


	3. You Do?

I felt so dizzy. He must have caught me. Ya, he caught me and must have drugged me. So, I'm back where I never wanted to be again.

Wait.

I was with Elliot. I ran into him, literally. But if I had gotten away and found him....where the hell was I? I couldn't hear anything. I could barley feel anything.

Am I dead? I would believe that, but I could feel my heart beating. If I listened closely, I could hear a beeping sound.

I don't know how long it was before I could start to feel things again. When I did I could feel something gripping my hand and something in my arm. An I.V. I couldn't open my eyes. It was weird. I think it was Elliot holding my hand, because of the scars I felt, the same scars I had cleaned and bandaged every time he hit something, or somebody. Ya, it's defiantly Elliot. I wonder if he would ever hit me. No, it's just the drugs talking. Elliot would never hurt me, no matter what. But, I know he'll kill the man who did this to me. Ever since his divorce, he'd been so much more protective of me. He never let me do something dangerous without him. At first it was annoying, but after a while it was sweet that he'd put himself in harms way, just to protect me. It was the same when way he stared at me, it was weird at first, but I'm use to it now.

I felt Elliot let go of my hand and I heard him stand.

"When will she wake up?" He asked and I wanted to smile. He was so impatient.

"Hopefully soon, but it could be a while before she has the strength too. I think by now, she could be able to hear us, but she probably can't move just yet. Give it time Mr. Stabler, she should be okay." What I'm guessing is either the doctor or nurse, said and walked away. I tried my hardest, but I couldn't open my eyes. I heard Elliot sit back down and sigh.

"Come on Liv, wake-up. I don't wanna lose you. Please Olivia, wake-up." He said and I wished I could answer him.

"Elliot." I managed a faint whisper. I felt him grab my hand again.

"Liv, can you hear me?" He asked and I tried to speck again. I couldn't so I tried my hardest and squeezed his hand gently. He squeezed mine again and I felt something brush against my forehead. His lips?

"Olivia I want you to know something.." He said and took a deep breath.

"I...I love you." He said and I was sure I was dreaming. He couldn't actually love me, could he? He didn't love me the way I loved him, did he?

Somehow I knew I wasn't dreaming. Somehow part of me knew that he had loved me all along. I had seen it in his eyes when he ran to me after Gitano tried to kill me, when he told me to take the shot that would most likely end his life, when he watched me step out of the cab after he arrested his old mentor for murder, who'd most likely have killed me too, if Elliot hadn't been there, when I posed as his prostitute while he was undercover, and when I kissed Stucky, in order to keep him alive, but I just couldn't see it until now.

With this realization, my eyes fluttered open to see Elliot looking down at me. I smiled slightly.

"I love you too." I said softly and watched as disbelief flashed across his face.

"You-You do?" He asked and I squeezed his hand.

"Of course I do Elliot" I said softly.


	4. So Tired

He looked at me oddly for a second before a small smile spread across his face. His hand reaches down and strokes my cheek gently. My eyes flutter closed and I sigh. I was so tired.

"What's wrong?" He asks, his thumb still stroking my cheek, making me tireder.

"I'm so tired Elliot," I whimper. "I don't want to go back to sleep." He chuckles softly and kisses my forehead

"Go back to sleep sweetheart." He orders and puts his hand back in mine. I can feel myself slowly falling in unconsciousness.

"Don't leave me." I mumbled, and right before sleep claimed me I heard him softly say "Never."

* * *

**I know wayyyy short, but I'll get the next up veer soon. It'll be elliot's point of view as he watches her sleep.**


	5. My Angel

Wow.

She's even beautiful in her sleep.

And she loves me. She actually loves me! All these years I've wondered if she felt the same as I did. Never knowing she actually did love me all those years.

I shouldn't have waited this long to tell her. I shouldn't have waited until this happened.

I should have told her the moment I signed the divorce papers. I should have pulled her in my arms and kissed her, like I wanted to do now.

A strand of hair falls into her closed eyes, and I gently wipe it away. My hand lingers on her face, stroking it gently, memorizing the peaceful look of it. It was rare to see that look on her face now. She just looked so very beautiful, and I can't tare my eyes away. Her perfect lips were slightly parted, making me long to kiss them. She reminds me of an angel. The most beautiful creature in the world. She was an angel, my angel. My perfect, gorgeous, loving angel.

"Mr. Stabler." The doctor calls from the door. I let go of her hand.

"Elliot." She whimpers softly. I mouth 'one second' to the doctor, he nodded and I look back at Olivia.

"What, baby?" I ask softly.

"Don't go." She whimpers again, and my heart melts a little.

"I'll be right back." I say softly and she nods her head, her eyes never opening.

"Promise?" She asks.

"Promise." I replied and she nods again. When I'm sure she's asleep, I stand and walk over to the doctor. We walk out into the hall and I'm surprised to see Don, Casey, Munch, and Fin all looking through the door. They all had a surprised look on their face. They had seen me with Olivia. Wonderful.

"Mr. Stabler, Did Miss Benson wake-up?" he asks and I nod my head.

"Yes, I talked to her for a few minutes, then she started saying she was tired, so I told her to go back to sleep." I explained. The doctor nodded and smiled.

"That is very good. The tiredness is to be expected, but she has not fallen into a coma. She should make a full recovery." The doctor said and everyone smiled. She'd be okay.


	6. Not Your Fault

My eyes flutter open and I look into Elliot's baby blue eyes. I smile at him and he grins back.

"Hey" I say and he lets go of my hand. He strokes my cheek and smiles.

"Hey, how do you feel?" He asks and I shrug.

"Fine, I guess." I say and he looks uncertinaly at me, then at the door.

"I'm going to get the doctor. You need to be checked out." He says and stands. I sigh but make no effort to argue, I won't win. He won't rest untill he knows I'm safe, he's always been like that.

He walks out and I suddenly am aware that I am competely alone. The thought scares me. I can't stop myself from feeling that intence fear, that I felt when I was hiding from _him._ It horrifies me. Silent tears cascade down my face, and I look around the room. There is really nowhere to hide except for the dark corners. I realize it must be night outside, because it is dark in here. The only light is coming from the lamp above me and under the door. I stare at a dark corner untill it looks like someone is looking back at me.

I close my eyes, in an atempt to get away from the intence darkness, and that corner. Images, that I don't want to see, flash across my brain, and I scream. My eyes snap open as I hear the door open and I can't help but think I'm back _there _with _him. _Someone is standing in the door way and I press back into the uncomfortable mattress. The light flickers on and I am glad to see Elliot standing in the doorway. He is at my side quickly and he sits on the bed. I throw my arms around and cry. He quickly wraps his arms around me and whispers calming words into my ear. I close my eyes tightly and fight back the horriable images.

I am aware of the other voices in the room. I try to concintrate on those voices.

"She was like this when we found her." I hear John say.

"Did she tell what happened to her?" a voice I reconginize as Casey's askes.

"The only thing she said was that he....he raped her." I hear Don say. I hear several pained sighs.

"Do you think she'll be alright? Menatly I mean?" Fin asks and my sobs start to subside.

"I don't know. She seems fine when Elliot's there, and you saw what happened when he left." Don says then sighs. I turn my head and look at them. They are all looking at me. I sniffle and look down.

"Can I go home now Elliot?" I ask and look back up at him. He looks down at me and frowns slightly.

"No, the doctor needs to do a few more tests, then you need to go give your statement.." He trailed off when he saw the shame in my eyes.

"Olivia this is not your fault." He said softly and I looked down.

"Yes, it is. if I was walking down that street without my gun, I'd be fine right now." I say and he pulls me closer.

"It is not your fault. Whatever that asswhole did to you wasn't your fault. You didn't deserve what happened to you." He said into my ear. I wanted so badly to belive him.

"He's right, Liv. This isn't your fault." Casey says and I turn my head toward her.

"Yeah, Liv, none of this is your fault." Don said and everyone nods. My eyes tear up and I know there is no reason to not belive them. They are my freinds and they know exactly what to say in times like this. Times when one of us stops beliving that we are worth anything at all. Times when we can't stop a case from getting to us. Times when we stop beliving we are helping anyone. Times when one of us is dragged into a case and become a victim. They are always there. Elliot's steady stream of calming words and the words of my freinds stop my tears.

"Thanks guys. I needed that." I say and sniffle. I don't let go of Elliot, and he dosen't let go of me. I figure out thta they all must know about now, or at least know we've gotten alot closer.

"Anytime, Baby girl." Fin says and I smile.


	7. I Really Can't

She holds onto me for a few more minutes after the others leave. She isn't crying anymore, just closing her eyes and breathing slowly. Five minutes later I look down and realize she has fallen asleep. I gently unwrap her arms from around me and cover her up with a blanket. I stand slowly and tip-toe out the door. They others are waiting for me.

"Elliot, she needs to see Huang." Don says and I shake my head.

"Not yet, give her a little time." I argue and he sighs. He doesn't get it. Olivia hates shrinks, she wouldn't talk to one about something like this.

"She hasn't said one thing about what happened to her. We need to know something, we have to find the guy who did this." Fin says and I sigh. They were right.

"You right, but she isn't going to talk to Huang." I say matter-of-factly. The others nod.

"She isn't going to talk to anybody, but you about what happened." Don said and I stop breathing for a second. No. I couldn't. I couldn't listen while she described everything _he _did to her. I wouldn't be able to.

"No. No I can't." I whisper and they all look sadly at me.

"You have to Elliot. For her. You know she won't talk about it unless she fells completely safe. You and I both know she'll only feel like that if she's with you. It's the only way." Don says. My insides knot.

"I really can't." I say louder and close my eyes.

"You have to." Don says and I knoe he's right. I have to. For Olivia. I hope I can handle this.


	8. Who Did This To You? Okay To Cry

Someone is shaking me awake. I am afraid at first before I realize it is Elliot. I open my eyes and look up at his slightly pained expression. Something is wrong.

"El, what's wrong?" I ask and sat up. He looks down and sighs.

"Liv, I know this going to be hard for you, but I need you to tell me what happened." He said softly, glancing up at me. I stopped breathing for a second.

"El, I-I can't. Please no." I whispered and he pulled me into his arms. I held onto him tightly, and prayed to god that Elliot wasn't serous.

"I wouldn't ask you to do this if it wasn't important, but we have to know, Liv." He said and I close my eyes. He pulled away slightly and I open my eyes. He was looking at me, pain extremely apparent in his eyes.

"Who did this to you?" He asked and I look down as tears fall from my eyes. He lifted my face up with his hand, and stroked my cheek. He wants to help me. I know that. I should tell him. I really should.

I want to tell him, I realize. I can be strong now. He makes me strong.

"Richard White." I whisper and grimace at the pain and anger in his eyes. He's angry, just like I knew he'd be.

"He did this to you?" He asked angrily and I flinched. I nodded and closed my eyes. He pulled me back in to his arms and I cried, harder than I'd ever cried before. Harder than I did when Richard first attacked me, harder then than I did when Elliot found me, and harder than I did when I was alone as a child

I forget time, and everything and just let everything go. I don't try to stop my tears this time, I let the pain run its course, and when I can't cry anymore, I realize I don't know how many hours It has been since I started. I pull my head off his chest and look up at his sad face. I'm stunned to see that he is crying. I whip them away and cup his cheek.

"Why'd he have to pick you? Why did he have to hurt you?" He whispered as more tears fell. I shook my head and looked up into his eyes.

"I don't know. I wish I did, I really do." I whisper as he presses soft kisses on my forehead. I feel his tears leaking onto my face, and I close my eyes tightly, fighting back my own tears. God, what was wrong with me? I thought I had finished crying.

As if he could read my mind, Elliot said softly into my ear, "It's okay to cry, baby. Everyone does. It's alright." With his blessing I cried again. I knew he was still crying, I could still feel his tears leaking down my face, and It gave me comfort, knowing that a strong man like him could break just like everyone else, just like me.


	9. I'd Die For You

I know I'm still crying, her hair is wet from my tears. She's still crying, too, I can still feel her tears leaking onto my shirt. I know we've been like this for along time, but I don't know how long.

"I love you Liv, so fucking much. I'm not gonna let him hurt you ever again." I say into her ear. The others are in the room, they have been for awhile, but I don't care.

Making sure she knows I love her and that I will protect her from anything or anyone, is all I care about. I can feel my tears slowly stopping, hers too.

"I love you, too, El, more than anything." She said softly. She knows they are here too, but I guess she doesn't care either. She pulls her head off my shoulder and looks up at me, I look down at her, and forget everything but her in the moment our eyes lock.

I rest a hand on her cheek, and her eyes close, like we were the only people in the room. I lean down and brush my lips against hers.

I can feel their eyes on me, but I don't care. She pulls me down more, so our lips touch more firmly. The feeling of her lips against mine is so amazing and I don't want to let go of her. I don't think about the fact that our first kiss is in a hospital, with our friends watching, after she was kidnapped and raped. I only think about her and how much I love her, how much I need her.

We don't break the kiss until we need air. When we do, we open our eyes and stare at each other, nothing is said, we don't need words. We can communicate with glances and looks.

_I love you, I can't live without you._ I tell her with my eyes.

_I love you, too, I need you with me. I'd do anything for you._ She replies.

_I'd die for you. _I tell her and her eyes widen.

_You know I wouldn't ask you too. _She says and I can see tears gather in her eyes.

_You don't have too, I'd die to protect you any day._


	10. Not Worth Dieing For

"No, El, promise me you won't" She whispered as her tears spilled over.

"I can't, I won't make you I promise I won't keep." I whispered back and wipe away some of her tears.

"El, you-you can-can't do th-that, you ha-have a fami-family and they ne-need you, and I-I'm no-not worth di-dieing fo-for." She cried hysterically, and I hear the door close, I glance up to see that everyone has left. Good, they don't need to see her like this.

"Listen to me, baby. You are everything to me, I can't live without you, and if I had to choose between letting you die, and saving you, even if I have to die to do it, I'd always pick saving you. I'd be nothing without you Liv." I say softly, knowing that my words won't soothe her, and pull her against my chest. She cries for a while, but doesn't argue with me, she knows nothing she can say will change my mind. She knows I'd do anything to keep her safe. Just like I know she do the same for me.

"Shh....please baby, calm down, everything will be okay." I whisper and she sniffles and lifts her head off my shoulder.

"No more taking about dieing okay?" She asks softly, and I nod, and wipe a peace of hair out of her face.

"I love you, Olivia." I say softly and she smiles.

"I love you too, Elliot." She says and leans up to place a small kiss on my lips. The kiss became less innocent than she planed, and soon we were both pulling away, panting, but smiling.


	11. Hurts Like Hell

I smile as I watch them together. They're perfect for each other. I know, their friends know, hell even complete strangers know.

"Don, do you think he'll be able to fix her?" John asks me. I sigh, because I have no idea. She seems so happy when he's with her, but when he leaves, she freaks out.

"I don't know, only time will tell." I say and turn away from the window. We need to focus on finding White.

"John, I need you to go and find an address for White. Fin, go to the bar we found Olivia at, see if anyone saw White or Olivia after she was kidnapped." I say, they nod and walk away. I turn back to the window. They aren't smiling anymore, She looks like she's in too much pain to speak. I wonder what happened, then see the blood on Elliot's hand. What the hell happened?

* * *

"Oh, god Liv, I'm sorry." He says, but I'm in too much pain to answer him. I guess my legs wound opened while we wrapped up in each others arms, but I didn't notice the pain untill now. Fuck. It hurts.

"Not. Your. Fault." I say, then wimper softly at the pain. He stands and backs away from me.

"I'm going to get your doctor." He says and rushes out. Don enters as soon as Elliot leaves. He walks toward me quickly and grabs a towel. He presses it against my leg and I struggle to stop the scream that has bubbled up in my chest.

"What the hell happened?" He asks as blood begins to soak the towel.

"Leg. Stitches. Opened. Hurts. Like. Hell." I grunt out and close my eyes tightly. I grab onto his hand and clutch it tightly. Fuck. I need something to stop the pain. Now. I open my eyes as Don lets go of my hand and the door opens. Elliot and, what I guess is, my doctors come in. Elliot is at my side quickly and I clutch onto his hand.

"Liv, honey. The doctors are going to give you something to make you sleep, while they fix your leg. It should make the pain go away." He says as soothingly as he can and I nod. The doctor comes over and injects some kind of clear liquid into the I.V. It takes a minute or two, but the pain starts to fade, and I get very tired.

"Better?" Elliot asks and I nod, his face becoming blurry.

"G'night Elliot." I say sleepily. I can hear him chuckle then kiss my forehead.

"Goodnight Sweetheart." He says softly.


	12. Anything It Takes

I follow Don out of Olivia's room as the doctors start restitching her leg. I know whats coming, and I don't want to talk about it right now, but I don't have a choice.

"You know I can't let you two be partners anymore. I might not even be able to keep both of you." Don says sadly. I nod, because I know, it's against the rules for Olivia and I to be in love. I think it's stupid and unfair. Why shouldn't I be able to love Olivia without consequences?

"You know I'll try my hardest to keep you and Olivia from transfering out, but I can't make any promises." He says, snaping me from my thoughts. I sigh and nod again. He looks at me and smiles slightly.

"You two are really in love aren't you?" He asks and I give him a small smile.

"Yes. I love her, Don, and I know she loves me too." I say and look through the window. She looks so beautiful when she sleep. As if he could sense my thoughts, Don looked toward Olivia's sleeping form and sighs.

"She looks so peacful, doesn't she? Like nothing has ever hurt her." He says softly.

"It kills me to see that look on her face while she's sleeping, that's the only time it's ever there. I want to keep that look on her face for the rest of her life, but I know I can't. An-and that hurts." I whisper and turn away. The overwhelming need to make everything okay for her again, makes my heart break. He puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Elliot, you can't fix every problem in her life, you can't go back in time and fix her childhood, you can't stop everything form hurting her. No matter how hard you try, you can't make her life perfect, it isn't possible. You can fix as much of her as you can, but she'll never be fully healed. I know you love her, and want to make everything better for her, but you-you just can't. So don't kill yourself trying. She'll be just as happy, if all you do is love her." Don said and walked away. I stood there for a moment, just thinking over everything he had said. It made sense, but it didn't ease the need to make everything better for Olivia. I don't think anything will. I sigh and turn back to the window, to look at my beautiful Olivia sleeping.

"I promise you, Olivia, I'll make your life better somehow. I'll do anything it takes to make you happy." I whisper.


	13. We Have To Stop

_"Please don't. No, please stop." I whimper as the man on top of me pushes up my dress. He smiles evilly down at me as I struggle against the ropes he used to tie me up with. His hand reaches down and rips off my underwear. There are tears flowing relentlessly down my face now, and I can tell he loves it. He grabs my face and kisses me painfully hard. I struggle harder, even though I know it's useless, I'm not going to get free until he's done with me, and I know it'll be a very long time from now. All I can do is beg him not do this, and try not to cry too hard when he doesn't listen._

_"Please, I'll do anything you want, just don't do this. Please." I say desperately, and he laughs and runs his filthy hand up and down my body. He reaches over and grabs a roll of tape. The rips off a piece and puts it over my mouth. _

_"I can already do anything I want to you." He says and pushes into me. I scream_.

"Olivia! Olivia! Baby wake up!" Elliot shouts and my eyes snap open. He is staring at me fearfully, and I realize I had probaby screamed out loud. I sit up quickly and wrap my arms tightly around him. He wraps his arms around me and kisses my forehead. I am not shocked to realize that tears have fallen already. I look up at Elliot. He frowns and looks down at me, confused.

"What is it, Liv?" He asked hesitantly. I can tell he is scared, scared that I won't be able to get over this.

"It's nothing." I whisper. I know that he knows I'm lying. He's looking down at me with concern in his eyes, and my heart aces to tell him about everything that had happened to me, it'll make me feel better, maybe stop the nightmares.

"Don't lie to me, Liv. I only want to help you. I don't want to see you hurt." He whispered the last sentence and I sigh, but look up at him.

"It was just something I remembered from-from when White had me." I said quietly and watched as pure fury flashed across Elliot's face. He knew what kind of memory I was talking about. It made him angry to think about what White had done to me, but I also saw a deep sadness in his eyes.

"I should have protected you, I should have been there for you. I-I should have never let this happen to you." He whispers and looks away, hiding his eyes from me. I cup his cheek and turn his face back towards me. I'm not surprised to see the tears gathering in his eyes. He has always been good at blaming himself for things he can't control, especially things that happen to me.

"It's not your fault, Elliot. It happened and neither of us can change it, no matter how much we want to. I know you think you can protect me from everything, but you just can't. Please don't blame yourself, it won't do anything, but hurt both of us." I say softly and press my head against his shoulder. It takes a second or two, but he leans down and kisses my forehead.

"I don't want to see you hurt." He whispers again, and I look back up at him.

"Then don't blame yourself." I say quietly and lean up to kiss him quickly. He stops me when I try to pull away, he puts his hand on my cheek and strokes it gently as he kisses me. I relaxed quickly and wrap my arms around his neck, wanting to get closer to him. There is a passion and fire pulsing through me, and it's something I've never felt before. I know we have to be careful or the stitches in my leg will open again, but right now, we both need comfort. Right now, kissing him like this, is the only thing that can comfort me. I want it to go farther than kissing, but I know that this isn't the time or place. I whimper when he pulls away.

"Liv, wait." He says breathlessly when I try to pull him back. I open my eyes to find him watching me, breathing hard. There is unmistakable desire in his eyes, and he is trying to fight it, so he can calm himself. I don't want him to fight it. I want him to kiss me again, I want him to make all the bad memories fade away for a little while.

"Why?" I ask and watch him closely. He staring into my eyes, seeing the desire, and lust there. I watch as he opens his mouth to speak, and closes it again, as his eyes dart down to my lips, then back up.

"We-we need to stop." He says, unconvincingly, as he tries to stop staring at my lips. He wants this as much as I do, but he won't give in, no matter how much he wants to.

"Why?" I ask again and watch as his eyes widen and desire clouds them again. I lean up to kiss him and he lets me, but he pulls away and rests his forehead against mine after only a few seconds. I whimper again.

"We can't do this now." He whisperers breathlessly and I close my eyes and sigh. He's right. We can't, no matter how much we want to.

"Okay." I whisper, defeated. He leans down and places a small, gentle kiss on my lips before pulling away and trying to move away from me. I open my eyes and grab his arm to stop him. He is trying to stop the desire that is flowing through him, the only way he can do that is if he is a little bit farther away from me, but I need him to stay with me. He looks down at me and somehow knows exactly what I need. He gently picks me up and lays on the bed, he sets me down next to him, and I smile as I curl up against him.

"I love you, Liv." He says softly as his arms wrap protectively around me. I know I won't have another nightmare tonight, not with his strong, protective arms around me.

"I love you too, El." I say as my eyes flutter close..


	14. Please Don't Go

I watch her as she sleeps, she is so beautiful, so peaceful. Seeing her like this makes me want her more. It scares me how much I want her. She is fragile right now, and I don't want to take advantage of her. I'm not sure if she is ready for _that_yet, no matter how ready she seemed earlier. That's why I stopped her then, I didn't want to do something we'd regret, or something that might hurt her. And hurting her like that would destroy me. I want to sleep, enjoy the same sence of peace she has now, but I can't stop thinking about the way she was kissing me earlier. Just thinking about it made me want to kiss her awake, and show her just how much I wanted her. I close my eyes, and sigh. I need to calm down, my pulse still hasn't slowed at all, and sleep. She snuggles further against me and I smile, then look back down at her. My heart rate finally slows as I watch her. Her beauty is luling me to sleep. I smile as my eyes close and I think of her. The beautiful memories finally allow me to sleep.

* * *

His arms are wrapped tightly around me when I wake up. He didn't leave me. All night, he stayed with me. The thought made me smile and open my eyes. I look up at him, he isn't awake yet. I wonder how late he stayed up. I've always know that he loved watching me sleep, he use to do it constantly during long cases, when we went up to the cribs to sleep. I'd pretend to be asleep, and I could feel him simply watching me. It freaked me out at first, but I got use to it. I asked him about it once, and he'd stuttered and said it helped him sleep. He was so embarrassed. I thought it was so funny, his face had gone a little red and he had stuttered like a teenager asking the prom queen on a date. I smiled at the memory. I'd fallen a little more in love with him that day.

"What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He asks and I look up at him. He smiles down at me, and I blush and glance away.

"Nothing." I say and glance back up at him. He is still smiling at me, and there is love in his eyes. It makes me smile too. My smile quickly fades though, we need to talk.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asks and frowns. I sigh and sit up. He doesn't let me go though, he sits up and pulls me against his chest. I lay my head against his chest and take a deep breath.

"El, I think I-I'm ready to talk about what happened." I say softly, and he goes rigid against me. I don't think he's breathing.

"El?" I ask and look up at him. He is staring down at me with pain in his eyes. I know he wants to know what happened, but I also know if he knew, he'd never _ever_forget and that the memories would always haunt him. I don't want that, but he is the only one I feel safe talking to. He pulls away from me and stands up. He looks over at me and sees the worry and pain in my eyes. He leans over and places a kiss on my forehead.

"I'll be fine, sweetheart. I just need to call Cragen and tell him to send Munch or Fin down here, so they can record your statement. I'll be right back." He says and I nod. I don't want him to leave, I know he is hiding something from me, but he needs a few minutes alone. He gives me a sad smile before he walks away.

I sigh and wrap a blanket around myself. I already miss his strong, warm arms around me. I have no idea how I'm going to tell him about what happened to me without bursting into tears every two seconds. I need to be strong, if I'm not, I will only hurt him, and that is not something I want. I want him to understand what happened to me, I want him to hold me when I can't stop crying over it, I want him to tell me everything will be okay, I want him to put the pieces of my heart back together. My heart hasn't been whole in so long, it's been broken so many times, and he is the one that can fix it, fix me. He is the only one I want to fix me. I look up at the ceiling, knowing that somehow, someday, he will fix me, even if we end up being just friends. He is too good of a man to leave me broken, and hurting. He would never leave me like that, even if he hated me.

"Hey, Liv." Fin said, his voice frightning me for a second, before I realized her wasn't White. I looked up and smiled slightly as he and Elliot entered. Fin stood ackwardly in the doorway as Elliot came over, sat down next to me, and took my hand.

"How are you doing, baby?" He asked, the term of endearment easily slipping out. He was looking at me with such concern in his eyes, and I realize that the last time he left me alone, I'd freeked out. He had been anticipating me doing that again, and I was surprised that I hadn't. I'd been to busy thinking about him, to let memories of White assault me. I gave him a small smile.

"Better, I think." I say quietly and close my eyes when he leans over and places a soft kiss on my forehead.

"That's good." He says softly as he leans away again. My eyes flicker open as Fin clears his throat. Oops, I'd forgotten he was there. I glance away as my cheeks heat up slightly.

"Are you ready Liv?" Fin asked and walks toward me. I nod and look over in confusion as Elliot stands.

"Good luck." He said softly and went to walk away before I grabbed his hand. He sighed and turned.

"Liv, I can't be here when he takes your statement." He said and glanced away and I turn to Fin.

"Please, Fin can he stay?" I ask and he glances uncomfortably between Elliot and I.

"Liv, I-I can't listen to you while you describe what he did to you, I-I just can't." Elliot said. I knew he was only trying to protect himself, but I can't do this without him. I could see that my pain was slowly pulling him toward me, pleading with him to stay.

"Please, don't go." I whisper and wince at my small voice. I quickly saw that my whispered plea was tearing down his self-preservation.

"Liv. . ." He says hesitantly, inching toward me, slowly.

"Please." I whisper again. He sighs and walks toward me. He sits next to me, and takes my hand.

"Okay, I'll stay right here, as long as you want me to." He said gently. I nod.

"Promise?" I hate how small and vulnerable I sound. But I need him, I need him to help me not be afraid. He is looking at me with pain apparent in his eyes, and I know he wants nothing more, than to pull me into his arms and make me feel better, but he won't do that in front of Fin.

"I promise, sweetheart." He said and I leaned into him, he stiffened for a second, before his arms wrapped around me. Fin looked over at us for a few seconds, before he looked down.

"I think we're making Fin uncomfortable." He whispered in my ear and I pressed against him, then giggled softly. I pulled away from him and layed back down on the mattress. Elliot smiled at me and took my hand again. I smiled and looked over at Fin.

"I think I'm ready, Fin." I said and sighed.


	15. What White Did pt1 Make It Stop

"I think I'm ready, Fin." I said and sighed.

"Okay, Liv, where were you when White attacked you?" Fin asked. I felt Elliot's thumb stroking my hand gently, soothing me.

"It was the corner of Seventh Avenue and 56th street." She said and was surprised how easily she remembered. Elliot looked down at me, surprised. Fin looked up, surprised as well, but he hid it a little better. I was also surprised how fast the memories flooded my brain. I tightened my grip on Elliot's hand and he squessed my hand reasurringly.

"It's ok." He whispers reasurringly. I nod, look over at him, and try to focus on his face, hopeing it will comfort me.

The memories didn't stop coming. Focusing on him wasn't helping. The tears were coming, I could feel them. He could see them coming on too. The memories started to get worse. Things that White had done to me, that I hadn't wanted to remember, assulted me quickly. The tears began trickling down my face, and were quickly being whipped away by Elliot.

"Liv, are you alright?" Fin asked as he stood and walked toward me. I shook my head before burying it in Elliot's chest.

"No." I whispered as Elliot's arms surrounded me. He was holding on nearly as tightly as he could, and I realized that it must hurt him to see me like this. I know I should stop crying since it hurts him so much, but I can't help it though, I need to get as close to Elliot as possible, he calms me.

"Make it stop. Please, Elliot, make them go away." I cry, and he pulled me closer. He rocked me gently in his arms, as he whispered soothing words in my ear. I hear the door close, and I know that Fin left, he hates seeing me cry, and he knows that Elliot will make sure I'm okay. Elliot does too, but he knows I need him more than anyone else, so he stays.

"Make it stop." I whisper again as more memories come to me. He holds on tighter as I feel his tears leak onto my face. He hates that there is nothing he can do to stop my tears. I hate that thinking about White makes me feel like this. I hate that he still has this affect me. I hate that thinking about him can reduce me to tears in seconds. I hate that, because of him, I haven't been able to stop crying. I hate that he is the reason Elliot is crying too. I hate _him_.

I looked up as the door opeaned again. What was my doctor doing in here?

"Miss Benson, I understand that you are upset, but you need to calm down. Your eractic heartbeat is not healthy. It could cause your leg wound to begin bleeding heavily, which may cause you to pass out agian, or possibly worse." The doctor explained and Elliot's arms tightened around me.

"He's right Liv, you gotta calm down." He says and looks down at me. I bury further against him and try to stop the images that are flashing through my brain. It is working, and slowly my tears stop. I look back up at my doctor, he has a very small smile on his face.

"Very good Miss-" He says but I cut him off.

"Please call me Olivia." I say. I really hate being called miss. He smiled again and noded.

"Okay, Olivia. Now the results of the tests you took when you arrived are in." He says and opens the clipboard in his hands. I hold onto Elliot tighter and pray that the news isn't bad.

"Well Olivia, it seems that everything came out normal. The rape kit is in also, and the results are not very bad." He said and I am realived for a second before it dawned on me. Not _very_ bad.

"What do you mean? What did you find in the rape kit?" Elliot asked before I could. I want to pull out of his arms and put some distance between us, but he has an unbreakable hold on me. I don't want to him to know every horriable thing White did to me. I don't want him to know how White had tortured me.

"Well, there seems to be alot of torn flesh, and plenty on seman samples, but the cuts on your thighs seem to be healing nicely." He said and Elliot looked down at me. I look away. I don't want him to see the shame in my eyes.

"Liv, look at me." He says and tilts my head up with his hands. I sigh and met his eyes. He strokes my cheek gently.

"I'll be back in a little while with your release papers." The doctor said and walked out. I stared up inot Elliot's eyes and tried to figure out what he was thinking.

"Liv, you shouldn't be so ashamed. None of this is your fault. When people hear about what happened to you, they won't think any differently of you. They'll only want to hurt the one who hurt you." He said and placed a small kiss on my forehead. I look down and bury closer to him. I hope he is right.


	16. Stay With Me

I'm laying with my back pressed against Elliot's chest when he breaks the semi-comfortable silence that's been between us since the told me not to be ashamed.

"Liv, honey, are you ready to talk to Fin again?" He asked and I sigh. I pull away slightly and let out a small giggle when he pulls me back. His lips brush the back of my neck, and my eyes slip shut. I smile and he brushes my hair out of my face. My smile fades as I think of talking to Fin again.

"I guess the faster I talk to him, the faster I can get this over with." I said and open my eyes. He is looking down at me with a sweetness and love in his eyes that I'm getting very, _very_ use to.

"I guess that one way of thinking about it." He says softly. I look up at him in confusion. He strokes my cheek gently with his fingertips.

"What do you mean?" I ask as one of my hands treads through the hand that is wraped tightly aroung my waist.

"Well, if you talked to him and got it all of your chest, it might make you feel a lot better. It might make this a little easier for you." He says and I look back up at him. He's right. I love that he thinks of these things, so I don't have to.

"I wish you could take my statement. I think that would make it easier for me. I've always been better at talking to you, then I was talking to anyone else. I know you won't think I'm weak if I break down again. I know that you'll know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I know you'll be patient and not push me." I say and sigh. He looked down at me and nods silently. He knows I what I mean, he knows I don't want anyone, but him, to know what happened to me, and that I'm still scared to death of Richard White.

"Can't I finish my statement later? I want to go home." I say softly and look away. I don't want to talk about White anymore. He knows that. He tilts my head back up and strokes my cheek.

"If that's what you want, sweetheart, then when you get out of here, I'll take you straight home." He whispers and I saw hesitance in his eyes. He didn't say _we'll go straight home, _he said _I'll take you straight home_. He didn't know if I wanted him to stay with me. Did he not know how much I needed him?

"Will you stay with me?" I ask, knowing I sound scared. He gave me a smile and nodded.

"I'll stay as long as you want me, as long as you need me." He said softy and I smile, knowing that I most likely will always want him, and need him.

"I'll always need you." I whisper and smile again as his lips brush my neck again. I look up at him in confusion when he gently pulls away from me.

"I have to go tell Fin that you're going to finish your statement later, I'll be right back, baby." He explains and I nod. He smiles and kisses me gently on the lips. I smile up at him when he pulls away. He sweeps the hair at out of my face before he walks out.

* * *

"Are you sure that's what is best for her?" Fin asks after I tell him that I'm taking Olivia home.

"I think so, maybe being home will help her feel better." I say and look through the window at Olivia. "She looks better already." He nodded and sighs.

* * *

**I just realized I skiped chater 14, so i added it and moved back 'What White Did pt1 Make It Stop and Stay with me. My bad!!**


	17. New AN

**Thinking about discontinuing this story. I'm not sure I like the idea anymore. However, if y'all really want me to continue it, plz let me know **


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